TWO FEATHERS – I’ve prepared a slide show so that council can view some of the pieces I’ve produced in my year as Indigenous Artist in Residence. The first photograph is titled Rebirth.
COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – My God! What’s that coming out of your mouth?
TWO FEATHERS – A rose.
COUNCILLORS CURMUDGEON – Why in heaven’s name would you stuff a rose down your throat!
TWO FEATHERS – The work symbolizes that out of great pain can come great beauty.
COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – No offense, Two Feathers, but it looks like something you’d see at Monty’s.
COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Monty’s hasn’t been open in a decade, you old geezer.
COUNCILLOR COALMAN – Finally we discover Councillor Loveflake’s true area of expertise.
COUNCILLOR MADDOG – I seem to recall back in the nineties you could often be seen taking a constitutional down Government Street, Councillor Curmudgeon.
COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON (fondly reminiscing) – Wearing my tweed cap . . .
COUNCILLOR MADDOG – And your jacket that was one size too big.
COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE –You must have passed by Monty’s in your travels.
COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Now and then.
COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Ever stop in for a gander?
COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Wouldn’t you like to know! One thing I can tell you for certain, whatever artwork was on display, it wasn’t taxpayers who were footing the bill for it.
TWO FEATHERS – I should never have expected an old white guy to appreciate my art, let alone the centuries of hardship Indians have had to endure.
LISA HOPELESS – Accept my apologies on behalf of Councillor Curmudgeon. He can be a bit of a toad at times.
COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – I bet his wife can hardly wait for council meetings each week.
COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – Probably drives to Mayfair and maxes out the credit cards.
COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – So Two Feathers, you’re a member of the Songhees Nation?
TWO FEATHERS – I can’t rightly say that I am.
COUNCILLOR COALMAN – The Esquimalt people, then?
TWO FEATHERS – Is that how you pronounce it. Es-qui-malt. Who’d a thunk.
COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – You speak Lekwungen?
TWO FEATHERS – I don’t even know what that is.
LISA HOPELESS – I realize that my next question might seem a tad insensitive, Two Feathers. But what type of Indian are you exactly?
TWO FEATHERS – I’m a Mohawk.
LISA HOPELESS – A Mohawk! You’ve certainly come a long way to be the Artist in Residence.
TWO FEATHERS – It is The Year of Reconciliation after all. Sixty thousand dollars will go along way to reconciling my bank balance.