LISA HOPELESS – If one of the nondescript, interchangeable members of staff could please read the next email.

STAFF READER – This email comes from John. Thank-you, Mayor Hopeless for this e-town hall. It gives shut-ins like myself an opportunity to participate in the democratic process.

LISA HOPELESS – I can’t take all the credit for the idea, John. Actually, come to think of it, I probably will. But do continue.

STAFF READER – My question concerns property taxes. Residential taxes have increased by fifty percent since 2008. What gives?

LISA HOPELESS – I’d like to assure John that city spending is capped at the rate of inflation plus one percent. Is that not correct, Mr. Coax?

MR. COAX – Technically that is true, Madame Mayor. What the emailer might have failed to take into account is that we base our spending on the rate of inflation in Venezuela plus one percent.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Let’s face it, John, somebody’s got to foot the bill for the cost overruns on the bridge and the bike lanes.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – Not to mention the generous new CUPE contract.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – To quote P.T. Barnum: There’s a sucker born every minute.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – And from what we’ve learned tonight, that sucker is the Victoria taxpayer.