HAPPINESS

LISA HOPELESS – My goal is to make Victoria the happiest place on the planet!

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – I imagine happiness comes easy if you’re earning a hundred grand a year with no dependents.

LISA HOPELESS – You’re one to talk! With the extra money you take in from your seat on the CRD and your lecturing at UVic, you’re probably clearing a hundred grand yourself.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Not bad for a man of the people.

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – Says Warren Buffett.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – I didn’t go to Harvard Business School for nothing.

LISA HOPELESS – What about you, Marianne? How are you making out?

MARYANNE ALTERNATIVE REALITY – Don’t forget, along with the pay cheque I receive for my council duties, I also have my consulting firm, Muddy Waters.

LISA HOPELESS – Muddy Waters—that’s an unusual name. What is it exactly that you do?

MARYANNE ALTERNATIVE REALITY – I’m not even sure myself, but my 2014 election campaign cost $20,0000 and was mostly self-funded, so I guess things must be going well.

LISA HOPELESS – Impressive. And what about you, Joe?

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – Between my city council income and my husband’s income as a bus driver, we usually manage to escape to Cabo every winter for a little frolic in the sun.

LISA HOPELESS – Sounds fun. And you, Councillor Maddog?

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – As the owner of a heritage B&B, I’ve been able to squirrel away a nut or two over the years. Do you think these haircuts come cheap? My hairdresser calls it the Clara Bow, but I think it’s a little more Fanny Bryce.

LISA HOPELESS – Or Miss Marple, depending on the angle. What about our new council members? Do you consider yourself happy Councillor Luscious?

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – Over the moon! A double income and my two jobs just a hop, skip and a jump from each other. Who could ask for anything more!

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Two jobs! I can’t even begin to imagine how Councillor Luscious manages to do it. I can barely make it out of bed in time for Council of the Whole meetings.

LISA HOPELESS – So you’re saying you’re not happy, Councillor Loveflake?

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – If I could speak on behalf of Councillor Loveflake, I don’t think it’s so much that Jer is unhappy, but he’d be much happier if he received compensation for all of the extra hours he puts in.

LISA HOPELESS – What do you say to a density bonus, Councillor Loveflake?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – I thought the density bonus was reserved for developers who fulfilled specific objectives set out in the strategic plan?

LISA HOPELESS – You’re questioning Councillor Loveflake’s qualifications for a density bonus?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Not when you put it like that, Madame Mayor.