INDIGENOUS GAMES

LISA HOPELESS – Next on the agenda we have an update on Victoria’s bid to host the North American Indigenous Games. How’s it going, Marianne?

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – Chief Sam I Am has made me an honorary member of the Songhees Nation so that if we win the bid I’ll be able to compete in the caber toss.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I thought the caber toss was an event in the Highlands Games?

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – You’d rather see me riding bareback?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I’m just saying wouldn’t it be a gas if all members of council got a chance to participate.

LISA HOPELESS – What about a dodgeball team?

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – Surely, dodgeball isn’t considered a traditional indigenous sport?

LISA HOPELESS – As a matter of fact, the First Nations have been playing dodgeball almost as long as lacrosse. The original game wasn’t played with balls but the heads of Jesuit priests.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – Certainly not anymore!

LISA HOPELESS – No, but . . . hold your wild horses, folks. I’ve just had a brainwave!

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – God help us!

LISA HOPELESS – What if instead of using regular old dodgeballs we painted them with the heads of Queen Victoria and Sir John A. Macdonald?

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – More than a mere sports competition, the event would symbolize the stinging blow dealt to native culture by colonialism.

LISA HOPELESS – I swear it’s like a Vulcan mind meld, the degree to which we think alike Marianne.

COUNCI.LOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – If everyone participates we should have just enough to enter a team in the tournament.

LISA HOPELESS – All in favour? Looks like it’s unanimous.

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – But what will we call the team?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – How about the Redskins?

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – I’m not sure that would be considered appropriate, Jer.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – The Braves it is then. Spring training starts next week. I have a feeling Councillor Maddog’s fastball could do with a little work.