COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – You certainly have a bounce in your step today, Lisa.

LISA HOPELESS – I’ve just received word that Justin will be stopping over in Victoria!


LISA HOPELESS – Not Justin Bieber, Justin Trudeau.


LISA HOPELESS – I’m trying to decide what glasses to wear. It’s between the Rocky Raccoon goggles or the oversized Wacky Professor spectacles. Do you think they make me appear more intelligent?

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – I wouldn’t be too concerned. After all it’s the prime minister who’s coming to town, not Elon Musk.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – As I recall, didn’t you receive a two-hundred-thousand-dollar scholarship from the Trudeau Foundation when you were a student, Lisa?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – And as I recall, despite the scholarship, didn’t you nonetheless fail to complete your PhD?

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – Call me curious, but what was the subject of your dissertation?

LISA HOPELESS – Community micro lending!

COUNCILLOR CURMUDDGEON – Don’t you remember? Lisa was going to revolutionize the small loans industry. At least that’s what it seemed like before the election. Since becoming mayor, however, not so much as a peep on the subject.

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – Would you say Justin Trudeau has been an inspiration to you, Lisa?

LISA HOPELESS – He’s no Wonder Woman, but we definitely share the same world view.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Speaking of which, I see that our fearless leader has decided to increase the immigration target from 250,000 to 340,000 a year. Almost an extra hundred thousand new arrivals pushing through the turnstiles without any public consultation on the matter.

LISA HOPELESS – But don’t you see? That’s why it’s so critical that we increase the density of Canadian cities. How else do you think we’re going to cram everybody into the country?

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – I always wondered where Lisa’s obsession with urban density came from.


COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – I hear the casino is laying odds on what sort of outfit the prime minister will be sporting when he shows up in Victoria.

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT– My money’s on the silk pajama ensemble he wore on his trip to India.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I see something a little more Saltspring. Maybe a dashiki or a tie dye with a roach clip.

LISA HOPELESS – Word on the street is that the governor general will be accompanying him and they’ll both be fitted up as astronauts.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Can’t argue with that given that this country now seems to be run by space cadets.