COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – I have a question I’d like to direct to staff. How many parking spaces along Dallas Road do you foresee having to be removed in order to make way for the new bicycle path running between Clover Point and Ogden Point?

STAFF – Parking will be reduced from 120 stalls to 70 stalls.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – Negative fifty parking stalls! Holy shit, Batman!

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – Holy shit, indeed. This is not a modest intervention council is considering. If this plan goes ahead we will in effect be denying people with mobility issues a breathtaking view of the Olympic Mountains.

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – James Bay is already congested enough with drivers circling around the narrow streets looking for parking. This plan, if adopted, will only succeed at making matters worse.

LISA HOPELESS – Councillor Luscious, need I remind you that citizens are always welcome to download the app and hop on one of the Made in China bikes you see littered about town.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – Begging your pardon Lisa, but I don’t think you’re going to find too many seniors taking you up on the offer.

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – And the view of the Olympics is a jewel to be shared by all residents of the city, even those who for whatever reason are unable to ride a bike.

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – I’m also concerned about the proposed route of the bike path. If you look at the screen, the path cuts into the woods at Beacon Hill Park which will necessitate the removal of mature trees. Ironic, don’t you think, when you consider the whole point of the exercise is to reduce climate change?

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – I hate to rain on your parade, Lisa, but if the Fort Street bike path build-out was a disaster, this has all the makings of a catastrophe.

LISA HOPELESS – You’re all such a bunch of Debbie Downers!

COUNCILOR COALMAN – I think we’re just trying to look at the situation realistically.

LISA HOPELESS – Well, I for one think the bike path is going to be amazing! Just imagine a classic summer morning in Victoria. Blue sky, not a cloud on the horizon. I’ll be able to take a scenic ride along the cliffs at Mile Zero, scoot past the duck pond at Beacon Hill Park, up the new bike lanes on Cook Street, and back to Fernwood just in time to meet friends for coffee at the Cornerstone Cafe.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – Lisa, you do realize that we’re here to do what’s best for the citizens of Victoria, not just provide you with your own personal playground?