POTLATCH

LISA HOPELESS – As part of the celebrations to mark The Year of Reconciliation, I would like to propose that Victoria add one more festival to its already busy list of summer events.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – I was hoping with John Vickers run out of town with his tail between his legs that we’d actually be cutting down on the number of festivals this year.

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – Stop your squawking, old man. I’d like to hear Lisa’s proposal.

LISA HOPELESS – The event will tentatively be called Potlatch Potluck.

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – How will it work?

LISA HOPELESS – It will be just like Car Free Day. We’ll close off a couple of blocks of Douglas Street and fill the strip with a teeming mass of street vendors.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – But I thought the event was to celebrate indigenous culture?

LISA HOPELESS – Chief Sam I Am will be allowed to set up a couple of teepees and hand out pemmican and beef jerky.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – I’m not sure that quite qualifies as the traditional food of the Salish people, Lisa.

LISA HOPELESS – You’d prefer Eric Asskiss’s banana bread?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I think the important question is, will there be a beer tent?

LISA HOPELESS – This is a First Nations event. Of course, there will be a beer tent.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Then it gets my vote. I’ve even got a suggestion.

LISA HOPELESS – What’s that?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – How about as the climax to the day’s activities we melt down Sir John A. Macdonald’s statue?

MAYOR HOPELESS – Excellent idea, Councillor Loveflake! I’m amazed I didn’t think of it myself. It will show once and for all that Victoria is no longer a colonial outpost.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Madame Mayor, is it possible that you don’t realize that even you are a descendant of these colonists you seem to so much despise?

MAYOR HOPELESS – Says you!

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY– No one cares what old white men have to say anymore!

MAYOR HOPELESS – You tell him, Marianne!

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – I would like to put forward an amendment to the motion that Councillor Curmudgeon be required to attend a sensitivity workshop before the Potlatch event as part of his cultural rehabilitation.

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – Suppose we get him to make a dreamcatcher as his first assignment.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Now this I gotta see!