QUORUM

LISA HOPELESS – Would someone like to approve the agenda? Councillor Curmudgeon. Do we have a seconder? Hold on a second! There’s nobody else here.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Everyone appears to have flown the coop.

MR. COAX – If I might remind the mayor, Joe and Marianne are attending the Capital City Conference.

LISA HOPELESS – And where’s that being held this year?

MR. COAX – Beats me. But I’m sure it’s safe to assume a capital city somewhere.

LISA HOPELESS – And Councillor Luscious?

MR. COAX – She’s in China trying to drum up business for the hotel.

LISA HOPELESS – Councillor Loveday?

MR. COAX – A youth forum, I do believe.

LISA HOPELESS – And Councillor Bullshit?

MR. COAX – A Beekeeping Convention.

LISA HOPELESS – Hopefully, we’ll be getting some free honey out of the deal. What about Councillor Maddog?

MR. COAX – She’s off to Charleston, South Carolina as a special guest of the mayor whose an expert in . . .

LISA HOPELESS – Let me guess—heritage restoration.

MR. COAX – Gold star. You got it first time.

LISA HOPELESS – And Councillor Coalman?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – He’s staying at an Airbnb in Washington, DC.

LISA HOPELESS – What’s he doing there?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – He has a meeting with the President.

LISA HOPELESS – President Trump?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – Chris is being headhunted to be the next Secretary of State.

LISA HOPELESS – I’m not sure I believe you.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – You’re right. It’s director of the FBI.

MR. COAX – Madame Mayor, I regret to inform you that since council is unable to reach a quorum this Committee of the Whole meeting cannot be convened.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – We could always go to The Spot for a late breakfast.

LISA HOPELESS – Who’s paying?

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – It goes against my nature, but I suppose I could treat you to a BC Sunny Start.

LISA HOPELESS – Make it a Nat’s Hearty Breakfast and you’re on.