RICE KRISPIE SQUARES

ERIC ASSKISS – I understand you’ve decided to seek re-election?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I even have my campaign slogan picked out:

JEREMY LOVEFLAKE – LOVE IS THE ANSWER.

ERIC ASSKISS – Wasn’t that a song from the Seventies?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I thought it sounded familiar when Ben came up with the idea.

ERIC ASSKISS – Let me play devil’s advocate for a moment, Jeremy, and suggest that love is not only not the answer, but the reason for much of Victoria’s current woes.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – I’m not sure I follow.

ERIC ASSKISS – Take the issue of affordable housing, for instance. If the government hadn’t shown such a love of foreigners, Canada might have avoided a housing crisis altogether.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – But discrimination is bad.

ERIC ASSKISS – But perhaps not quite so bad as the failure to protect one’s own citizens. The irony is that by being so inclusive, we’ve actually made Victoria more exclusive.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Wait a second. Wasn’t this interview supposed to be about comfort food?

ERIC ASSKISS – So what is your favourite comfort food, Jeremy?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Rice Krispie Squares.

ERIC ASSKISS – And what is it that you like so much about Rice Krispie Squares?

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – They’re crunchy and easy to make, and if I start eating one right now I hopefully can avoid any more difficult questions.