MARIANNE – So how did your meeting with Justin go?

LISA – It was incredible. We have so much in common. He even let me in on the conditioner he uses.

MARIANNE – Hopefully, you learned a little more than that, Lisa.

LISA – I did. But I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to tell you, Marianne.

MARIANNE – Whyever not?

LISA – It’s top secret information. The public is not supposed to know anything about it.

MARIANNE – But I swear, Lisa, if you tell me, I won’t tell a soul—not even my hairdresser.

LISA – You have a hairdresser? I always thought you just went to Jimmy’s and paid 13 bucks for a buzz cut.

MARIANNE – 15 dollars with tip.

LISA – You agree to tell no one, Marianne?

MARIANNE – Not even Chief Sam I Am?

LISA – Especially not Chief Sam I Am.

MARIANNE – Okay, Lisa, you have my word. Not even the Chief. So what’s the scoop?

LISA – Victoria is part of a social engineering experiment.

MARIANNE – It sounds like something out of The X-files.

LISA – In a way it is, especially when you consider the big part aliens play in both programs.

MARIANNE – Don’t toy with me, Lisa.

LISA – The federal government, through various secret programs and stealth operations is actively engaged in changing the ethnic make-up of Victoria. It’s part of Justin’s grand design to turn every city in the country into a carbon copy of Toronto.

MARIANNE – But Toronto’s a mess. Everyday there’s a new horror story—cycling fatalities, serial killers, Doug Ford. And that’s not even to mention the gridlock and the cost of housing. Are you sure that this is what the people of Victoria really want?

LISA – Of course, it’s what the people want. That’s why it’s so important that they know absolutely nothing about it.