SONGHEES

LISA HOPELESS – I’d like to welcome Chief Sam I Am who is joining us in council chambers this evening. That’s right—the guy with the buckskin jacket. Thank-you Chief for the wonderful dinner Executive Chef Huckleberry prepared for members of the Reconciliation Committee.

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – The venison was incredible!

CHIEF SAM I AM – Remember—vegetarian is Indian word for lousy hunter!

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – I won’t forget, Chief. I nearly busted my gut when you told that one at dinner.

COUNCILLOR STEWART – Mayor Hopeless, I wonder if in the middle of this comedy fest you happened to mention to Chief Sam I Am that you had just given the green light to Vancouver Island’s tallest building which will soon be arising on the traditional lands of the Songhees and Esquimalt peoples?

LISA HOPELESS – It might have slipped my mind.

COUNCILLOR STEWART – Or that every year the city welcomes thousands of newcomers, all eager to claim their own slice of the traditional lands of the Songhees and Esquimalt peoples.

LISA HOPELESS – I don’t recall it coming up at the dinner.

COUNCILLOR STEWART – Madame Mayor, would you not agree that the net result of this influx is that the Songhees and Esquimalt people get shoved yet another rung down the totem pole? In this Year of Reconciliation how do you reconcile the Liberal Party’s immigration policy with its supposed support of First Nations?

LISA HOPELESS – Hold on a second. These aren’t the usual softball questions I’m used to.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – It’s Mr. Stewart again. He slipped into Councillor Luscious’s seat when she recused herself to get a slice of cheesecake.

LISA HOPELESS – Guards! Escort this impostor from council chambers immediately.

COUNCILLOR STEWART – You might be able to get rid of me this time, Madame Mayor, but rest assured, I’m going to keep asking the questions that everyone else is afraid to ask.

LISA HOPELESS – But it’s an unwritten law in Canada that no one is ever allowed to question immigration policy.

COUNCILLOR STEWART – How can one not question immigration policy when it underlies almost every single problem we face at a local level?