LISA HOPELESS – Next we have a progress report on the sewage treatment plant.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – Holy shit—not again!

COUNCILLOR JOE THORNTON – I swear this shit has been going on forever!

COUNCILLOR LUSCIOUS – It’s like a backed-up toilet at the hotel. The shit just keeps piling up!

LISA HOPELESS – Seeing as you sit on the board of the CRD, Councillor Bullshit, perhaps you’d like to give us an update on what shit we should expect in the future.

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – Shall I tell you the good shit first? There’s half a billion dollars potentially available in infrastructure funding.

LISA HOPELESS – And the bad shit?

COUNCILLOR BULLSHIT – The municipalities of the capital region have to all get their shit together before we can get anything off the ground.

COUNCILLOR ALTERNATIVE REALITY – Sounds to me like we’re up shit creek without a paddle.

COUNCILLOR CURMUDGEON – I can tell you it was a lot simpler back in the day. If you needed to take a shit you just grabbed a newspaper and headed for the outhouse.

COUNCILLOR LOVEFLAKE – Stop talking shit, old man.

COUNCILLOR COALMAN – Like we’d rather listen to your shitty poetry.

COUNCILLOR MADDOG – What a load of doo-doo that is.

LISA HOPELESS – Enough of this shit! Councillor Bullshit, where in your judgment is the best possible place for the city to locate a sewage treatment plant?