EDITOR – Good news, Eric. Since you began your investigative food column subscriptions to the paper are way up. According to my sources, readers are skipping the Op-Ed page and going directly to the Lifestyles section. You’re the new star of the Times Communist.

ERIC ASSKISS – What about Jack Putz?

EDITOR – I’ve demoted him to proofreader.

ERIC ASSKISS – That’s quite a fall from grace.

EDITOR – It’s been coming for a while. Readers got tired of being spoon-fed pabulum. They’re hungry for stories with some real fibre to them—and that’s what we’re going to give them!

ERIC ASSKISS – So what’s my next assignment?

EDITOR – I was thinking of a series of classic chicken recipes.

ERIC ASSKISS – Lisa’s not going to be happy about that.

EDITOR – We’ll start with Chicken a la King.

ERIC ASSKISS – But nobody eats Chicken a la King anymore.

EDITOR – I hear it’s Councillor Curmudgeon’s favourite dish.