FRIEND – You might want to sit down for this, Lisa.

LISA HOPELESS – What is it?

FRIEND – A joint study released by UBC and McGill University shows that communities with lower density have higher levels of happiness.

LISA HOPELESS – But how can that be? People who live in cities have higher education and income levels.

FRIEND – That may be true, but they also have to contend with a higher cost of living and longer commute times.

LISA HOPELESS – But small towns don’t have the diversity of cities. If diversity is Canada’s strength, how can Canadians possibly be happier in places with fewer immigrants?

FRIEND – Well, apparently they are.

LISA HOPELESS – So what you’re telling me is everything I’ve been pushing for the last four years has been wrong.

FRIEND – Not only that. Everything the government has been pushing for the last thirty years has been wrong.

LISA HOPELESS – By increasing the density of Victoria I’m actually making Victorians miserable?

FRIEND – It would appear to be so. Are you okay, Lisa? You don’t look so good.

LISA HOPELESS – If this study is right, Victoria would have been better off if I had never been mayor at all.

FRIEND – Don’t talk that way, Lisa. How about we go on a nice long bike ride? That ought to cheer you up.

LISA HOPELESS – But someone always trashes my bike when I park it.

FRIEND – That probably wouldn’t happen in a small town.

LISA HOPELESS – Maybe I should move up island and become mayor of Qualicum Beach.

FRIEND – You might want to check in with the locals first.